Okay, so right away, I'm gonna put this out there cause I know what 9/10ths of you will think of me by the time you finish reading this: I am NOT a hypochondriac. Need proof?

"Hypochondriac: A person who has hypochondriasis, a disorder characterized by a preoccupation with body functions and the interpretation of normal body sensations (such as sweating) or minor abnormalities (such as minor aches and pains) as portending problems of major medical moment. Reassurance by physicians and others only serves to increase the hypochondriac's persistent anxiety about their health."

My symptoms are REAL. Any "anxiety" I have pertaining to them is, IMO, deserved; and I just want to find a way to live with them. I don't obsess over them, except in dealing with them in therapy and trying to cope.


If you're still reading, I thank you.

I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as severe depression and anxiety. A coworker recently told me her young son has Asperger's and I act just like him; I snapped at her, saying that I'm f*cked up enough without YET ANOTHER label, and I didn't even bother hearing her explanation.

Because of all this, I am at the moment extremely suicidal. I cannot deal with everything in my head right now, not to mention an overbearing and concerned mother, and a very stressful job. I just don't wanna do this anymore. I'm literally losing it; the finely braided threads that make up my life are finally unraveling. I'm forgetting things at work, I'm VERY paranoid about getting fired. I'm snapping at coworkers, and I hate myself for it. I constantly repeat myself without realizing it; I've gotten rather weird looks from people and eventually realized I'd said "bye" to them twice, or something along those lines.

I don't know where to turn. I'm afraid of going back to the mental hospital. I just want the chaos to end. I honestly don't even expect anyone reading this to believe me...not sure why I'm posting this, to be honest.

Thanks for reading.