Good Morning,
There are two of you here that need to seek therapy so you can get to the bottom of why you are having these feelings.

Everything that you are saying here should be said with a therapist.
What you can do is take what you have written here and bring it to a therapist.

It sounds to me like both of you are experiencing having trouble with your self esteem and you cannot seem to find a way to build it up to where you feel comfortable around others and even within yourself.

Many people do experience this, and they often blame themselves for not being successful at it. And there are probably reasons for why you have problems with it that you don't understand or remember. Working with a therapist can help you figure this out, it is a common problem. Glad to see that you are letting it out, the frustration of it, that is a good beginning, because what you are saying is that you see that you have problems and you now know that you cannot fix it yourself, GOOD.

I want you to know that you are not alone. You may see examples of others who struggle within this site. I have posted to similar complaints and so have others, so if you would like, you can click on my statistics on my site and read my posts, along with other supportive posts. I don't really start threads, I usually just post to others questions.

Know you are not alone and that there can be a path to building your self esteem correctly.

Open Eyes