Oh gosh yes. Even still. Everyone says how wonderful my T is... well those who know what I write about him on PC. And he really is great. But I have this reverse of romantic transference toward him. It is the strangest thing because when I read posts about that type of thing, I get jelous of those types of feelings! My T is so wonderful that I think to myself "I should be head over heals for him." But I'm not - and not that it is a healthy "I'm not" ... It is more like a "Internally I hate him very much and am terrified of his kindness!" UGGG! It drives me bonkers at times!
I actually FORCE myself to write him the positive stuff I have after sessions - my good emotions when a good session happened - because I WANT to feel GOOD about relationships that are healthy. It is like others were saying, unless I am being abused, I honestly don't know how to feel love for other people.

I just hope if I keep on working on the relationship that I will start to feel that healthy love more and be able to enjoy that with others IRL.