Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
Oh gosh yes. Even still. Everyone says how wonderful my T is... well those who know what I write about him on PC. And he really is great. But I have this reverse of romantic transference toward him. It is the strangest thing because when I read posts about that type of thing, I get jelous of those types of feelings! My T is so wonderful that I think to myself "I should be head over heals for him." But I'm not - and not that it is a healthy "I'm not" ... It is more like a "Internally I hate him very much and am terrified of his kindness!" UGGG! It drives me bonkers at times!
I actually FORCE myself to write him the positive stuff I have after sessions - my good emotions when a good session happened - because I WANT to feel GOOD about relationships that are healthy. It is like others were saying, unless I am being abused, I honestly don't know how to feel love for other people.
I just hope if I keep on working on the relationship that I will start to feel that healthy love more and be able to enjoy that with others IRL.
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Hi,
I have never had a romantic type transference for him, but I usualy like him. So this being angry at (as he has done nothing to deseve it) is confusing. (sigh... just last week I had to bite holes in my tounge just so I would not insult his shoes.) I seem not to know how to handle his acceptance of me. ( perhaps it is due to what we are talking about now) I seem to be looking for a fight (for him to treat me how I am/was used to be treated) When the fight/abuse doesn't happen, I just don't know what to do or how to react and I get angry. I too seem to not know how to feel love or be loved with out the abuse.
Thank you