Those things aren't an option for me here. In my school people aren't very nice and I've just gotten rid of a so called friend who couldn't accept me for being gay. The girl I was friends with for two years beforehand I broke away from because all she ever needed from me was homework. She'd never want to be there for my company. She only ever wants something in return. The last time anyone spoke to me in school was her and she only did it because she wanted to use my camera. I can't go out here and there are no clubs. I'm basically stuck and even if I wanted friends I can't have any. Those I broke off with I refuse to be around because no matter how bad I feel about myself I don't want to be used or put down. It's just I have no choice that's all... I don't mean to sound so negative but that really is how my situation works out. I'm really isolated and in the past I haven't had much luck with friends which has dampened my outlook for how things will be when I leave here.