Hi Teanie. Welcome. I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. I don't have social phobia, but I have other phobias and I also have GAD and Panic Disorder, so I can definitely relate to what you write here. Especially the part where you say you are the queen of excuses!

I'm wondering if you are getting any professional help at all? I have found medication to be helpful (I take an anti-depressant which also helps with anxiety problems) and therapy can be very effective too. I really hope you can explore some options like this. I know you'll find a lot of support here too. Keep posting!