Hey Zoo,

I'm sorry things are so tough for you.

I think it is vital you get through the next 2 days without contacting her, to give you both some space. Believe me I know 2 days alone can seem long when you feel bad but I honestly think contacting her again is a bad move. Do you see her weekly?

Im playing devils advocate here...so please don't think I am trying to get at you but I think at the moment what's really your enemie is how your thinking about things moreso than the T herself. I do know what it feels like to get conflicting messages from your Therapist as I get them from mine too and they annoy me.
When you T says that she is there for you, she means when you really, really need her, which at the moment to you I think feels like you need her almost every day and I dont think thats possible.

I know she has said hurtful things and I believe she has been very wrong at times but even when she says nice things like she did in ydays phone call its not helping you because within a few hours your feeling bad about things again.I can imagine that feels really upsetting

I think she has messed up some boundaries and left you feeling very lost, confused and hurt but you need to wait till tuesday and have a face to face discussion about all this.

Perhaps write out exactl what you want to say to her or ask for tuesdays session so you can letoff steam now but alo be prepared for the session??

xox