I'm not feeling sorry for myself.. babysitting my brother is something I've had to do my entire life. I've had to drop out of school to care for him. I can't go back until September I haven't been all year because my Dad relies on me. I've had to care for my brother all summer ever since he was born, and it was only the past few weeks that my depression was lifting, letting me actually enjoy my life for once. I've been down and suffering because of the pressure, the overwhelming responsibility. I'm NOT ALOUD to be a teenager, I wasn't even aloud to be a kid, because abuse stripped me from ever enjoying my childhood. I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I was a spoiled brat crying about not seeing my friends, but I'm not. It was only the past few weeks that I actually started seeing friends I had just made for the first time in years.. I gave up on life and I've been trying to regain what I gave up.. and now I'm forced once again to give up a life I never had to care and pay for mistakes I never made.

I was upset because I was scared. The stress my brother has put me through has pushed me to tears, pushed me to violence, and pushed me to suicidal thoughts. My brother has taken off in split seconds and it was me who had to go running looking for him while my Dad was out, it was me who had to get yelled at by the cops, yelled at by bus drivers, yelled at by teachers because my best simply wasn't up to par. This was just when he was my part-time responsibility. Now he's going to be my full time..

Yes, I'm 16 so I have to help my parents, I have to help my brother, the mistakes my parents made I've had to pay for. Yes, my Dad works and makes the money but I'm the one who fights with my brother, I'm the one who gives the discipline, I'm the one who has to be mom when I never had a mother myself. I've had to fight for my problems to be recognized, I had to fight to get myself into therapy. My efforts have NEVER been recognized, no one has EVER thanked me. Yeah, I have to support everyone else, but, what, if I ask for a little support, I ask for a little attention, a little break.. I'm a horrible person?