Suratji--thanks for your question. Yes, we talked about the changes in her email rules. She thought that her responses were starting to hurt me more than help me, so we discussed what to do. She thought she shouldn't answer me at all, and we tried that for a week. I told her I missed her wishing me a good week-end or writing something brief, so she said she could do that. But it ended up that she writes a few sentences about something I've told her if it's something positive I've done in RL. That's been fine except when I write about my feelings for her. It depends what I write.

The problem is that I want to tell her all of my feelings right after a session. It's hard for me not to need a reply, a validation that what I say is all right. I have to remember that not long ago she told me that no matter what I write in my emails, she will still like me very much, and that will never change.

Dizgirl:
Yes, sometimes I felt I needed to clarify something she wrote or felt she didn't quite understand. I know that's why she said she doesn't like email, but she always told me it was fine to email her.

Tay: You're right! Sorry I couldn't help that and I'm not being sarcastic, just trying to be funny. Well, there's a difference between knowing something and accepting it emotionally, don't you think? My T is responding that way because she thinks it's best for me, and for her. I KNOW that but it still makes me unhappy. I know she cares very much about me but I still feel hurt. I know she made the rule to help me, not to be mean to me. But I still feel hurt.

sunrise: My T will only write back once per week no matter how many emails I send, so that's one limit I have no control over. I do agree that it's best I don't email HER any more before my session, if that's what you meant.

Coping skills? That's a good question. I think that's what she's doing with the breathing, meditation, and exercise. It IS helping me to practice mindfulness meditation and walk outside more. She also told me that crying is good if I feel like it. She also keeps telling me that my parts don't have to run the show, that my Self is capable. She suggests doing something I like such as drawing or collages. I don't know if she's seen me so sad or angry; I don't show it in sessions very much, just afterwards and in my emails. She's also told me I don't have give my feelings so much power. I think that was what she said. I know she's told me more, but not as a separate topic called "coping skills."

Sannah, I suppose I'm being triggered. I hate being ignored; it makes me feel like I'm being rejected. I have a close friend who moved away and I used to write her letters. She never responded to my questions and wrote much less than I did. That hurt me. I had a pen pal who responded to every single thing I wrote. I did the same with her. I liked that! I think it goes back to letters I wrote my Mom when I was away at camp. She wrote back and always answered every single part of my letter. Plus, when I was younger, kids used to ignore me. I hate being ignored! So, yes you could say I get triggered, especially when I write something risky in my emails. I SHOULD have known not to expect her to answer, though. I thought she'd make an exception because I asked her so directly to answer me.