I am so stuck in the past.

Every waking moment I think back on either what did happen or what could've happened: the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" syndrome. I know it's holding me back. I know it's keeping the door tightly shut on allowing good things to enter my life again. But I just can't let go of things and nothing seems to be helping. In fact, I feel like I've given up on trying to feel better. I feel completely lost, lonely, abandoned, empty, miserable, sentimental, sad, hurt, useless, hopeless, helpless - drifting from one empty day to the next with an utter sense of lack. People are sick of hearing me whine and so I am. Yet I continue to wallow. Lately all these feelings have sharply intensified, but honestly, I've felt this way for YEARS. Why can't I get out of my own way? Why do I feel it will always be this way for me?

On top of all that, I feel very guilty posting this when I know so many others are suffering through much worse than my self-created problems. I'm sorry.