We are all on here for different reasons and who are any of us to judge whether our experiences are worse / better than anyone elses. It seems what we all have in common is some sort of pain - our journeys may be different but I guess we all have a desire to be able to deal with life a little better and that makes us all valid members on here. Sometimes it helps to let go of things if you can share them (working on this one myself ) - can you share more of your "coulda, shoulda, woulda" -