Hugs, suga, I do relate to the struggle! I hope your BF can find and have for you the patience and compassion you need for him to have....
Sometimes I can't always tell when it is the BP1 or the BPD, but I know sometimes in depression it is quite a bit of both, both chemical and just my old coping mechanisms/cognitive/emotional patterns......
I don't feel stable right now, but T says I am actually, since I am not suicidal and have better coping skills which I can actually use! But I can't say that I have been stable truly for any length of time in the last 10-15 years; I have thought there were periods of relative normality but looking back I and others see I wasn't as stable as I was thinking then either....so I don't know how long I stay stable, but hope to learn and be able to be stable truly for a long period of time!