Hi, 44HkDugW, welcome to PsychCentral.

I see what you mean (by your examples :-) but I am not sure your mother and sister are wholly to blame for their assuming you are criticizing them even though you don't mean what you say that way. It's a common enough communications error but I think your "blue" example leads a little to be imagined? I kind of doubt you say "I hate blue" out in the middle of nowhere but probably when they are wearing their blue dress and ask you how you like it?

It could be that you respond to something in a way that they take wrong but could also be that what you respond to sets that up a bit by not being what is "asked". A little more politics might be necessary on your part with "I like that dress even though I don't usually like the color blue" or, "The dress looks great on you but I, personally, don't care for the color".

The only thing that "I hate blue" is a good answer for is, "Do you like blue?" or, "What is your least favorite color?". And using "hate" is a bit of an exaggeration? If money were blue instead of green. . .

I think I do understand what you are saying/asking; I find it extremely frustrating if people assign motives to me that are different than I intend. The only thing for it though is to "correct" them by making sure your statements are to whatever point and stated in such a way that it is clear they are your opinion (which cannot be "wrong" because it is yours and you can think/feel whatever is best for you) and that you make it clear it is/is not a comment about them or their "things"/business (unless that is what you are giving an opinion on).

Another way to confront the problem is to "reverse" the conversation. "Why are you criticizing me" (if you are not, it should not "bother" you to be asked that!) can be countered with, "I'm sorry, I don't understand why you feel I am criticizing you?" and carried on back from there until you find the first misperception on either your part or theirs.

But to "solve" the problem, I would work on how you word things rather than on how others take them; you can't control what others think but you can control what you say.