LiveNow,

I wish I had some helpful tip to recommend. If I did I'ld use it myself. I am posting on your thread just to share that I, too, have developed this tendency to talk out loud to myself and, even though I take pains to avoid being noticed doing this, it doesn't feel right. I kind of like how I feel when I'm doing it, but I feel sad that I do this. It was embarrassing for me to tell even my pdoc. He didn't seem to feel it was particularly noteworthy, which also saddened me. I do know that it is related to loneliness. What I think is very important and "noteworthy" is that - in my opinion - I believe that my doing this is a big sign that I am experiencing loneliness to a degree that is really not good for me and, potentiallly, damaging to me emotionally. Since losing my job one year ago, I have been doing it more.

Also, I am taking the drug Ritalin, prescribed for major depressive disorder. Well, that Ritalin amps up my tendency to talk to myself. These episodes of "self-talk" can go on for hours at a time, and I believe add to my depressive tendency to neglect my responsibilities.

Also, I do "checking," but nowhere to the extent that you do. As in your case, much of mine is related to fear of fire. My checking, however, is not something I would want to change. It's more than most anyone I know, but I feel it is a habit that makes me safer, especially since I am very absent-minded.

What I mainly wanted to say to you, is that it can be disheartening to feel some behavior is a sign of distress, and, yet, to be told that it is not something warranting much concern. Forgive me if I am reading that in to your post, but, I am maybe just guessing that you would like what I would like. That is - I would like the affirmation of a professional who would find this self-talk habit to be a sign that I am comforting myself by doing this, and that something is very much amiss that I need to do this. When I have felt well, I didn't have a big habit of doing this.

I also want to thank you for your post, because I feel better knowing this is not some odd behavior unique to me. That means a great deal to me. I think we need serious help finding our way out of loneliness, and the usual recommendations seem not quite adequate.

When you say you "want to be normal again," does that mean that you were, in the past, a generally happy, non-lonely person. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about your progress, or lack thereof, in coping with these issues. I would be very interested.