Hi Minkle, I'm really sorry that you have to fear going to sleep and that you experience nightmares. I can't imagine living every day with that awful fear. I think Perna's suggestion abut keeping a journal is an excellent one. Even though you might think that you just want to forget it when you wake up, please consider that suggestion. I have a kind of a theory that sometimes we have nightmares as a sign that we feel we don't have enough control in our lives. I think that writing down all that you remember, the moment you wake up, might give you a sense of POWER. Your subconscious is "running the show" inside of your mind way beyond what it has any right to do. So - by letting your awake, conscious mind grab ahold of that stuff and kind of "stare it down" would, I am betting, allow your conscious mind to get back more in the "drivers seat" and have more of the power that sort of has been bullied out of it. Yes, I do believe that something inside of us can become a true "bully" that we have to statagize how to push back against.

Regarding other issues you raise, I, too, have sometimes been unable to figure out if I dreamed something, or it really happened. I don't think that is real uncommon, though may be uncommonly frequent for you.

There are drugs that reduce the amount of time that we spend in REM sleep, which is when we dream. You might want to ask a doctor about that. Sounds like you need some relief.