salukigirl

I hate to say it, but I know exactly what you're going through. Everything you described is stuff my ex-husband used to do. He always blamed things on other people, especially me, never apologized if he did something to hurt me. He also never cared if I cried, it would usually make him walk away, go to another room or leave the house completely. He never wanted to go to counseling, if something bothered me than I had to see a counselor on my own. He completely abandoned me during very difficult times, such as when my grandma died and also when I had a miscarriage. I still haven't forgiven him for that one. He checked out whenever things got difficult. That track record should have had me running in the other direction, but I stayed and wasted almost 13 years of my life, waiting for things to "get better". They never did.

I can't tell you what's right for you. But for me, I really regret the wasted time, my co-dependency, always hoping if I just did this right or that right, things would get better. Someone with THAT many issues will not be able to change enough to give equal effort in a relationship. He doesn't want to be married, or in a committed relationship, not really. He demonstrates that in everything he does/says, especially in passing the blame.