Now I have come to realize that something is very wrong with me….what I have been going through is a little more than a case of the winter time blues. I haven’t felt happy…I haven’t felt satisfied with anything in life in months….now this is not to say that I have not felt “content” in my daily activates or momentary peace, but the unsatisfacation almost outweighs the positives that I may feel. Food never satisfies me…I find myself just not hungry anymore. And yet I eat, I eat because I must not because I want to, and sometimes I eat too much just because there is nothing else to do. Sleep never satisfies me even if I get to sleep as much I want or can I always wake up just wanting to go right back. If I can’t sleep I find myself just lying there for hours. Playing games, hanging out, and even doing things on my own that I enjoy doing never quite satisfies me. At first I thought I had simply perhaps outgrown things that I use to love to do but even doing the things i loved the most I no longer feel any of the pleasure as I use to. I am lonely and yet I am surrounded by people everyday. I get irritated and angry over the smallest of things that I could once laugh and joke about. I get angry with my closest friends when they have done nothign to desereve it. I have been fighting with myself about all of this for a long time. I have been trying to “feel better” for a while but I feel like I am in a hopeless quest.

I have been saying I am depressed for a while but I have never been depressed for this long or to this degree. I feel so lost and hopeless sometimes. I feel as if I am stuck in a rut I am never going to get out of. How can I get myself to be happy again? I want to be my fun loving, laid back self again. I do not have money to go see a psychologist. Any advice or suggestions?