Heya,

I being a sex addict am thinking that your partner sounds like a sex addict. Just the obsessive nature of the thoughts, is a red flag. there is a website for SLAA (Sex and love addicts anonymous) they have 40 questions to ask yourself to sort of give you an indication of if you're an addict or not. You might want him to look over those questions. There is help out there. SLAA is a great program. He may however not want help, being content with things as they are. But if you're not content then something needs to change.

Let him know how this is making you feel. You might find support in Al-Anon too though I'm not too sure about that. Hope this helps,
Love and hugs,
Tara