I am sorry that you can't sleep. This happens to all of us when we face things that we cannot find a reason for. It is the normal process or the human brain, trying to find answers, resolve.

I want you to know that this is normal. Don't let it frighten you. Sometimes it is amazing that the brain does often come up with, try this.
I think you have to try to train yourself conciously that at night you will get rest. My husband used to always tell me to just picture a black box when going to sleep and concentrate on only that until you fall asleep.
I do notice that he can seem to fall asleep almost anywhere. So, I must think that it can work.

As far as your friend goes, she attacks herself because whenever her life feels out of control, she can only take it out on herself, punish herself, or even control herself by hurting herself. So, whenever you talk to her, try to search for a way to give her a sense of control. Even if you have to find a way to let her feel a control over you. It is an art and I am not saying to let her harm you. But look at her strengths and try to point them out to her and how you wish you could do that too. The more you can empower her by pointing out some positive things about her, the better she will feel.

And you have to do that for yourself. You can't just say, I have no job, therefore I am useless, or unworthy. You have to say, well, today I have no job, but I will get a job, because I decided to be grinder and I am going to continue to grind away at it until I get a job.

And I am sorry about your adopted grandfather. But you will always have yourself. You just have to let yourself know that you are going to somehow survive and get thru this. So, I recommend that being a grinder, is a useful tool.

Open Eyes