i've needed help since 9/11. i still feel traumatized by the events that unfolded that day. it wasn't until recently that i could watch the re-runs of that day. i still can't fly. the world, as i knew it, felt evil. ptsd i suppose?
i fear more reprisal from the ppl who followed him. everytime i see a plane flying low i have an anxiety attack. i have fears. fears of the realities of things surrounding this man.
i was absolutely horrified that day. my one son lived in the "dead zone" near the twin towers. i couldn't reach him..phones were jammed. my other son/career military officer as well as his wife-miltary too. i couldn't reach either of the 3 to find out if they were ordered to manhattan, etc...phones were jammed. i spent a day of major concern for them and their safety particularly the son in manhattan.
i mourned for the victims and their families. i still do. my suffering is, i'm sure, miniscule compared to theirs.
i wish that day had never happened. my thoughts watching history unfold was that my grandchildren's lives would never be like mine growing up. so much has changed in america now. my concerns have become a reality...major security at airports, cameras everywhere, new violent events in our world, etc.
i don't relish in what has happened. his death doesn't change things. the damage has already been done and continues.
i pray our world can evolve to a peaceful place. i know that's unrealistic but violence breeds violence. peace is the answer, imho. peace throughout our world. that seems to be unrealistic but i do not understand the forces of evil anywhere. my pdoc and i talked about what happened that day right after it happened. i told him how i felt. he looked at me sincerely and said all the more reason for good ppl in our world to continue to be good ppl. i believe he was right.
i hope my posting this is ok and i'm staying within guidlines.