Thank you open eyes. but i am not young. i am 34. i have had much more competent times in my life. now i don't know what to make of it. i feel so lost. like i have failed big time. others have been able to do it, have a good job, to keep going. i just don't know how. i am relying on others to show me the way. i just feel really lost. i don't know how it's going to work. i am trying to have faith. but most of it has run out. i feel very sad that my parents don't get it. i am thankful that my dad has been there for me financially, but he has no idea. i am constantly letting him (and his wife) down. my own mom isn't there for me, because its my job to keep her happy. she never asks me how i feel because she can't take it (she has said so). my partner is strained by my depression. in this way feel like i have no one, it is a very old feeling. true, now i have my t and i have pc. for this i am thankful. it just feels lonely and rather hopeless-- but i am trying. anyway, thanks.