why do psychs and therapists think that if they talk to you for 1 hour, every two weeks, that they are helping you in any way?. dont they understand that when you leave the office after speaking to them you are more depressed than when you first went in, if thats possible,

they say you are confronting your problems, yet fail to realise the reason you are depressed is you are trying to stay away from the "problems" because you dont have the support network to cope in the first place. they also fail to realise that you have no support network to call upon when things get out of your control, and expect you to be able to cope until the next meeting in 14 days.

hospitals are a waste of time, if you go to the hospital and tell them you are going to self harm, for example, they say that you know something is going to happen so you yourself can stop it, when will they realise that people like me cant stop, i have to see it threw to the end, to stop / feel anything, and the next time they see me, later that same night, i am cut to pieces when all i wanted was someone to talk to, to understand, and to help.

this in one way is a rant, but in another, what is/has happened to me this week, i know it is not going to get any better in the near future, my homelessness doesnt help has i have to repeat my "life story" every day to differant case workers, in differant day centres, to try and gain someware to live, which in turn is making me want to cut more and more every time i leave the various buildings has i know it is all going to be for naught at the end of the day,

it doesnt help that i cant sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, and not outside, in the doorway i have choosen at all, nore does it help that everyone who walks past me whilst i am sat there in my sleeping bag, on the bare floor, depressed has hell, point and stare at me, or pull their children away has if i am a lepper just because they dont understand.

dont they realise that their stares and attitude cut me deeper than i ever could with a razor?
that i am emotionally devoid when i cut and i do it thinking it should be them i am cutting and not myself?

i better stop now, it will get edited to bits, night all.