I'm pretty sure that no therapist will just let her "sit in" on your appointments because you two are trying to work the insurance system. (I don't blame you for wanting to try, though). But if you schedule an appointment for two people the therapist is going to want to talk to two people. And besides, you said it yourself, you'll be censoring yourself if she's there and that's not what therapy is about. I think if she is really unwilling to be a participating member of the therapy sessions, then you should look into going by yourself. A lot of therapists will do sliding scale fees if you don't have enough money to pay and no insurance. Some therapists have online profiles (you can find them using this site) that say whether or not they do sliding scale fees.

In regards to money issues and the dates, I think there are plenty of ways to have a date night without spending a lot of money. You could rent a movie (they have redbox for a buck a night), and just pick a movie you both want to see, get some chinese food or make something together, and just sit on the couch and cuddle for the night. I'm also a big supporter of just going for walks together, riding bikes, going on hikes at state parks. Also, summer is coming, so keep an eye out for free concerts outside. I also think you should ask her to shut off the TV while you two are eating. Television was the biggest downfall for the American family dinner, if you ask me.

You could try telling her that you feel like the two of you aren't spending enough quality time together, and that you would like it if you both put more effort into doing so, that you don't want to go back to being crammed together like sardines in a can, but you do miss being around her.

Take care! Please keep us updated!