I was told I am EDNOS. Unlike most people with eating disorders mine came on in adulthood. I have terrible anxiety all the time, so I wouldn't eat before I went out of the house for appts and such. After a while I was just eating less and less. I found out that restricting food gives me a calm and peaceful feeling and I am completely hooked. I also over exercise, because I am hooked on that high too. And if I restrict my food intake and mix in some sugar and caffeine I can throw myself into a manic stage that last about 12 hours.

My life feels totally out of control for me and this give me a sense of control and matches the feeling of wanting to disappear that I have inside.

90 percent of the time I feel like I am in control and it is ok, occasionally I look in the mirror or at the number on the scale and I get really scared.

Maggy Jo