Mine was to move 3,000 miles away. One of my daughters followed me here, and I'm glad. But I'm sorry for the other daughter, who still lives near my mother and has taken my place in these situations. Similarly, my mother was notorious for alternating between making me (later my daughter) feel bad about our body size, and then trying to get us to join her in eating something fattening. "You're so fat, you really should lose weight. Here, I'm having some ice cream. Want some? You only need self-discipline; it's OK to have just a little...." and those "just a littles" add up. Why? Because, according to my therapists, she wants a woman around who is fatter and more insecure than she is, so she can feel better about herself. If we were to lose weight and/or feel good about ourselves--in addition to the fact that we are younger--she would feel all the more threatened.

And, feel good about myself at my present body size? No, she wouldn't allow it. I tried to tell her about how we are brainwashed by the media into thinking only one body size is attractive, and if we had grown up seeing plus-size women on magazine covers instead-- She cut me off mid syllable. "NO! Fat is not attractive!" So, if she can't make me feel bad by hinting at it, she comes right out and says it.

In school I was the one "performing" for the crowd, doing, wearing, or saying what they said was cool, while they offered me what looked like approval but was actually mocking. Think , and those who cheered him on in his efforts to become a singer in the days following his American Idol debut. Were they doing it because they really thought he sang well? No. They were making fun of him. Doesn't he know that? Sad to say, he might not.