This valentines it will be 20 years since one of my abusers died. I have never cried about his lose. I know that there were a few good things about him. Some, somewhat happy memories. But I have never been upset about his death. Am I wrong to still not be upset? I still refer to his death as our day of freedom. Because his death gave me the freedom. I didn't have to look around corners any longer, I didn't have to worry about when he would abuse me. His death was like this hugh weight that was taken off of my shoulders. I know that a piece ( alter ) feels like she is responsible for his death. ( he died from the flu which he had gotten from us ) There is this confusing mix of feelings. Guilt to happiness. It's now 20 years later and think we are even more confused now then ever before. How are we suppose to deal with such extreme different feelings? Just confused.
Monty