Thanks Rapidcycla.

My son ended up staying to whole Easter weekend. I had a nice time with all my sons together. My oldest son was even semi understanding of my schz son. that made life a llitle easier. Well I think I've excepted that he's not going to be in my life any time soon. He only stayed because both his brother's were here. I'm over being heart broken.. I guess I just don't feel anything anymore.
He did drop by on my bday with my sister and her kids and sang happy birthday, then left as quick as he came.
I just must be this scary, mean person that either wants to commit him or kill himm...I wonder which he believes, he won't talk about anything he feels.
I want to get him into therapy but his normal sarcastic response is "no thanks" I guess he's gonna end up being 50 y/o in a nursing home. That's what seems to happen to older adult schizophrenias.
I haven't slept again all night, hope I can now, I feel sleepy, but the roo is so bright, oh well.