My Story....

1. I am the youngest of 3 kids. I am also the youngest by 1 minute to my Twin Sister who has not got any MH Issues
2. My Parents are still together- they are celebrating their 32nd Ann this Month
3. I was out of control as a Teenager only when in the house.... I was an angel to the outside world
4. I am shy and always have been
5. I devveloped a "minor" eating disorder when I was 16-17 years old
6. I started SH'in when I was a kid and have never stopped
7. I have hid my depression/mania from myself and others for more than 10 years
8. I became depressed in 2005 after the deaths of my Gran in January and my Granda in March and then my redundancy in September
9. I started drinking heavily in 2005 and had my 1st sui attempt
10. Got a new job late 2005 and became more and more depressed with mania bursting through
11. Changed jobs in 2008 the one I thought was for me and was my chosen career.
12. Started to become manic mid 2009
13. I mived into a flat with a colleague/friend
14. Depression kicked in soon after a major
15. Have been in and out of my job since Nov 2009
16. Am currently fighting with my work to let me stay on
17. Have BP 1 and Anxiety and Sleep issues
18. See a CPN(Community Psychiatric Nurse) Monthly at the moment but don't seem to be going anywhere with that
19. Have in the past seen Counsellors- 1 through my work which lasted 7 months and 1 through a charity which lasted 8 weeks.
20. Have applied and been accepted into a MH charity- Penumbra and have my 1st day there tomorrow
21. Been on meds since Nov 2009- Sept 2010 for Depression and then Oct 2010- Present for BP.
22. No-one in my family suffers from MH Issues
23. No-one in my family understands BP and or Mania/Depression
24. I have tried sui att 4 times and am not proud of them
25. I have VERY low self-esteem
26. I am very gloomy about my future at the moment
27. I wish I was more positive
28. I ALWAYS apologise even when I have NOT done anything wrong
29. I do not sleep and when I do I feel rubbish
30. I have no motivation even though I enjoy the gym when I eventually get there

Think that's me.... sorry if it's long