Snarky and snotty probably aren't such a good thing zoo, but, I do think your T is in need of hearing your opinion.

I could be pretty snarky right now. I'm kinda in that mood.......

*Transference/countertransference don't exist because they're not used in DBT ? Hmmmmm.........

*It could've been gentler but it could've been worse? Hmmmmmmmmmmm.........

Sometimes people feel attacked when you come right out and say to them "You made me feel like this........" instead of saying "I felt hurt when you did/said this...". Do you see a difference? You are owning your feelings, not asking her to do that. Maybe if she heard it that way it may seem softer to her and she could sincerely accept and acknowledge the pain she's caused you. (Not that we want it to be easier for her- right? We just want it to be easier for you and if saying it in this way would do that because she would finally hear you and accept her role in this, then- hey.... ultimately that makes it easier for you! ) None of this "it could've been gentler but it could've been worse" crap. That's something my teenagers would've said.

Ah zoo............. I'm feeling so frustrated and sad and overwhelmed for you. Keep plugging away. You are a scrapper! I like that you can fight and stand up for yourself and not back away and keep fighting until you're so tuckered you can hardly move. You are resilient! I like that about you! You're my hero for that!

I'm learning so much from you. ((((((((((zoo))))))))))