Thanks, you guys :-)

LMo,
It makes me happy to hear you talk about it like a discussion. Thank you so much. I'll think about it some more and reply :-) Your words (and yours, Lexicon) make sense. I feel like one reason I want to be friends with her, though, is that I want to tell her not to feel guilty. And I feel like just not saying at least *something* to her would feel to her like I realized what a jerk she is, and that I'm cutting loose. I know she has issues with all this, and maybe it'd help to just say in an email, "hey, this might take a year"? I'm angry, yes, and I still have mixed feelings, and from time to time I find myself telling her how angry I am in my head, but I don't want her to hate herself. But hey, maybe she would be better off doing this alone? And maybe my feelings are clouded. Shrug.