Thanks BR.

You all are right. I know you are.... it's just so hard for me to face someone that I feel I have wronged......... even though it was not intentional. The idea that I would do something to hurt someone is just so unforgivable. It's not hard for me to accept responsibilty for anything- I'll gladly do that, and I'll gladly apologize. What's hard for me is having to wait through the time it takes for people (and me) to believe what I say and the time it takes for the relationship to heal back to what it was. That is so painful to me. It brings back overwhelming memories of always being responsible for everyone's happiness, but never being allowed to do (or think about) what I needed to do for my happiness.

Anyway...... I thought you might be interested to know that T emailed me back. We're 'talking' about it to some degree. I'm just so afraid it's not going to work out. I'm so tired of what's in my head always being there and never going away. I'd like to feel just some respite from all this stuff. I'm weary and I don't have much hope or strength left to deal with a whole lot.

Do any of you ever feel like that? What do you do to make it go away?