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ANGRY AND CONTAINING TRIGGERING MATERIAL.





















I've gone throught just about every memory I think I'll ever have in t.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say! Isn't that something? I can say we went through all of that for this? I can say that it's all come out and been talked about and don't have answers to the good questions like WHY???? I think at the very least I could have some questions answered satisfactorily, ya know?

Why did I have to be the only female child born to THAT family? Why did both of the parents in their own ways set that child up for torture and molestation by their first born? How did two such sick people find each other in this big world and then bear children?? Why did we live in isolated communities, moving every 2-3 years so that the child couldn't get close enough to someone to trust and tell? Why did we never have extended family near?

Why did everything come together soooooooooo perfectly to allow for hell on earth for a child?

Yeah, I think at the very least I could have a few answers.

Forgive me for my rant, but now that I see so much, I'm ticked. Why did so many factors to PERFECT abuse come together so easily?

I know that was just "how it was" and the why's are really secondary to dealing and healing, but heck if they don't come a close second for me.

I think of the main abuser living right down the road and his own daughter accused him. Out of fear the child recanted. Children's services visited him...to tell him not to worry about a thing! My younger brother was certain they'd invesigate then because when he answered the door he was so drunk he could barely hold his head up. Instead they said, "Thank you, Mr. ******. We're sorry this happened." I was told that if they'd gone in his house, he would've been arrested for material he possessed there.

The final cruelty? I couldn't prosecute if I wanted to. We moved every couple of years. It's a matter of jurisdiction, you know. Yeah, and he lives 15 miles away.

I don't get it.

KD