raini hope your apt is soon so you can get some relief and i hope your T is willing to discuss this with you and why you have so much trouble expressing love.my T told me that sometimes people who have had a hard time with something or have had a bad outcome about something tend to try to recreate it to possably get a better outcome.maybe this is why it is so important to you.maybe it was never validated that you love.and it is important that now it is validated .you need to know that it matters to your T that you care about her.you need to feel it matters.again i may not have any idea what i am saying.(usually the case )but hope it goes well.i bet it is ok with her to tell her as many times as you need to tell her you love her.