Zoo..... was just re-reading what you wrote yesterday and a thought came to mind. Last week when T and I were discussing what was going on with us, I asked her if she could do it all over again, what would she change or do differently about the way she approached stopping phone calls with me. She paused for a minute, said, "I guess that's a fair question" , then went on to explain the way she would've approached it differently. Her answer really helped calm me and made me feel like she really did understand why I was upset and how talking about it with me instead of just mandating it me would've been so much more beneficial for me. That experience really helped me in many ways- especially with the idea that I'm not the only one admits they could've done things in a better way. It always seems to me like I'm the one that has to 'give in' and do things to keep the peace. It was very comforting to see T admit she blew it and then hear that she got it because she could explain to me how she'd change it if she could.