Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfSwede
I can feel my mood sliding because of this. I could retreat back into depression, but I'm going to resist.
I don't know that I've ever really clicked with him, but I tell myself that friendships aren't always about laughing and joking. We do talk about music, but even those conversations feel stilted. I'm not responsible for his happiness, but I would like to see him improve and fit in. I don't know if that's an ego thing, like I could take credit for him getting better.
Also, he was born here, but his cultural background is quite different from mainstream American.
My thoughts are so jumbled on this. It's disrupting my concentration more than I thought it would. It's making me wonder whether I'm a good person or not. I just feel like you can't give up on people because they're not perfect. At the same time, I don't really fault others for avoiding him.
I'll have to write more later.
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I think the fact that you are spending so much time thinking about him shows you ARE a good person. You don't want to hurt him. Someone not so nice might just say, "Well "F" him who cares anyway"
Also there is nothing wrong with wanting to help him get better, there are tons of people who have careers devoted to helping others...
It can feel good to help others, so what if a little ego is involved?
I can understand the mixed feelings on this, I think whats most important is yourself right now. You have to do whats best for you!
Its like what they tell you on the airplane put your own oxygen on first, so you can help others.
You have to take care of yourself first.
Dont feel bad if you cant stay his friend, it is not giving up on him. We can all only handle so much. If staying his friend is too much for you it is ok for you to move on. This is not giving up on him.
Again.. What ever you choose to do will be OK! It will... You are NOT a bad person no matter what you decide to do.