Thanks for everyones opinions and concerns.
Sarah~ No I dont believe we have anything like that here. Unfortunately
we only have hospitals. I dont really feel that I can open up
about any of this to anyone irl.

All The Girls~ I cannot trust in others on my behalf . I have got to be
able to do what is right for myself. Yes they may care. But I
need to be able to trust. And that will not happen if they betray
it. I'm sorry.I just feel it has to be this way

Lex~ I feel bad for putting my T in that position I realy do. He cried
Monday when I went to see him and told him that I will not tell
him if I feel suicidal. I cannot risk it. He lost someone be~
cause he couldnt see thru this person. I hate to think of put~
ting him in that position. But its what I have to do to protect
myself as selfish as it may be. I cant handle being locked up
again.

Karen~ Thank you hon~

Ben~I see your point. But others know of how I feel and I feel that
they need to respect my feelings on this. Most of them ( irl)
dont get how it is to be locked up there.

I'm sorry I cant seem to satisfy what you guys want me to say. I just know how I feel about this and how scared I am to go back there. And to me that is more powerful than anything else that can happen. Maybe someday I will be able to change my mind. IDK. I just have to go with how I feel now. Thanks for listening.

Hugz~
Bethy