I got other plans I forgot about for Friday and my entire body feels numb and heavy. I don't know when I see him next week. For the first time since I dropped the SU option I am thinking about it again and i hate that a ton. But i keep telling myself that isn't even an option. I am trying to be strong but I feel like a zillion tears are all at the edge of my eyes but too afraid to come out and my throat is closed tight.