very good question about anger. there isn't really one way to get over abuse, so your path is your own, so long as you remain open to whatever feeling is inside surfacing when you are ready. you don't have to do recovery in any other way than your own. emotions become conscious when our inner wisdom knows it will be healing, not destructive.
all of that being said, the reason i think some level of anger is important is this:
when my human right to be safe as a child is violated, the natural response is anger. it is built in, i believe, to mobilize us to fight when our rights are oppressed. injustice is supposed to make us mad. including when the unfairness happens to ourselves.
ask yourself--would you be angry at the abuser if your friend told you s/he was abused as a child? probably.
you are just as worthy of righteous anger as the next person. as survivors we can carry the outrage for each other because abuse is just plain wrong.
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