i got hurt to many times in the past and as a result i found a solution: kill of my emotions (or atleast hide them very well). Since then i have gotten a different kind of feeling, and i cannot describe it as a typical feeling, i can however try to describe it as discusting as that is what i percieve it as and now i want this feeling gone as i do not like it

oh and i am pretty sure the discusting feeling didn't came imediatly after my emotion seperation