SoupDragon,
first of all, I can completely understand your feelings, and how appalling that this would have happened to you and your son. What really stood out to me was when you said:

"Thankfully I noticed". I'm thinking that as you can talk this out, whenever and wherever you find the need to, the more you can reassure yourself that you CAN trust yourself to NOTICE. Once you can begin to trust yourself to notice, I'm wondering if it will help ease some of the intensity it sounds like you still carry over this horrible situation.