my story in a small shell

eldest of three
bipolar w/depression and sleeping disorder
feels like im emotionally abused by the second (we dont know the third)
he has adhd
i am so negitave about my future
i struggle w/SI and thoughts of S**C*D*
i have few friends, who cant really help me with my cycles (about two weeks)
basicly i HATE my life
also i apologize for everthing