Hey everyone.
I'm writing my sort of dissertation (it's a 6000 words essay plus a creative project) and I'm panicking. It's due in 26th May, I have done most of the work but none of the actual writing and I have other deadlines between, including an essay of 2000 words I've done nothing for..I know it can all be done but at the same time, every time people are shocked about how behind I am I freak out even more. I'm not happy with my lecturer, I don't feel she has helped at all and also she sort of misunderstood and flattened my idea (during my presentation in class). And on top of that, I saw another lecturer to get feedback on a minor essay and she said that my problem is that I'm not working exactly as I'm expected to work at the level of undergrad, that I have too many ideas, and then instead of helping me contain them, she pointed out what I had left out of the essay, even though I have already reached the word count and had a mini break down in front of her. But then it's my fault for asking the feedback right? I mean, what else was she supposed to say?

Anyway, the point is that now I just have to write this darn dissertation essay and I can't free my mind from the fear that this won't work, I feel particularly slowed down and basically like I've shrunk so much that I should curl up in a ball on my sofa and write something very basic and dry and then reconsider whether my silly head is fit for a masters. And with this sort of catastrophising I know I have started sliding the slippery slope. Why can't I do something completely on my own based on my confidence in my worth?? People are right, I ask too much from myself, from lecturers, from everything...I'll be quiet now and struggle with my notes and get everything and everyone else out of my head...