Yes. Although I do think it is about both, as I am hypersensitive due to that kindling by my earlier experiences with my XH. But there is here and now in it too. (That's why it's good for me to keep in mind that not everything is transference--reacting to my T as if he is my XH. Focusing on that too much can allow me to miss other pieces that may be just as important, i.e. my T's behavior is subpar and I deserve better.) I think posting about this issue here and getting your responses has helped me come to giving the here and now more attention. One thought I had was that if I let T sit there with his laptop open, perhaps I would get over the hypersensitivity component of it (like exposure therapy)? And be left with the here and now. Somehow I have not wanted to do that...

Thank you. Me too!