Tree, I agree with all the other posters. The one word that comes to mind when I think of you is kind and I don't even know you, but you have posted some wonderful comments to me and others and have helped me. You care and it is obvious.

It sounds like you may need some reassurance from your T about your relationship. Maybe talk with him about this at the beginning of your next session. You can even print up what you wrote here. I learned this last week that part of trusting your T is that when he tells you something, you BELIEVE him, even if you don't know why. That was a huge thing for me. I am always trying to figure out the inner agenda of people and for the life of me couldn't figure out why my T was still with me. But when I finally allowed myself to believe him when he said reassuring things, that's when the fear left me and I finally felt safe.