yesterday T asked me what triggers a certain reaction (one I had kept barbed wire around for 2 yrs) and I looked right at her and said, I don't want to tell you this.
And then i told her what triggered me the last time. It was so hard. She saw the size of what was coming and said, so quietly, take your time, it's OK, you are OK: just take all the time you need.
and then I told.
I have never been more upset in that room than I was yesterday, and when I had started the hour I hadn't ANY idea that this woudl come up - not ever again.

Kaboom.

I do think that there are plateaus. And a good thing that there are! I think Peaches wrote about it once, very beautifully,about resting on a landing after negotiating some exhausting stairs... all I know is, there has to be a quiet time before you make another try, but that darned onion has many, many layers, seventyeight.
the good news s, you can go at yr own pace. Congratulations on having made a big step. Take a breath now (and I will too) this for you