maybe instead of organizing groups of people, you're good at organizing parts of yourself. i'm not sure if this makes any sense whatsoever, but it was the first thing i thought when i read your post. and it seems like all of these parts of you, while well organized, are all now stuck at the same time. it's like the part you that knows your therapist loves you, is fighting with the part of you that thinks he dreads your appointments. whether it's push or pull, it results in a zero net movement. not sure if this helps, just something i thought of..