So, I had a great session with my T today, and I wanted to share, but then I got stuck on what I actually wanted to say! So, I'm trying something new...just typing what comes to mind and not editing (that's really, really scary for me!).

We talked about my issue with sending emails/making posts, and how I feel like everything has to be perfect and then I worry about whether I'm bothering people with my posts/emails, and how I'm convinced no one wants to read what I write anyway. It was a good conversation...I know that the root of my concerns is my own opinion of my self worth and how I just don't feel like what I have to share is valuable. My T suggested that I practice with her...send her emails and don't edit the heck out of them...send her the third drat rather than the fifth, if I can't manage to send the first draft. She suggested that I set a time once I'm done typing, and once that timer goes off, I have to hit send, no more deliberating. She also suggested that I be mindful of the worry that I feel, and acknowledge it. Then, she gave me homework...I'm to actually email her when I feel the urge, rather than spending forever pondering if I should or not.

We touched on a few other things - some difficult topics for me that she has me talk about for just 5 or 10 minutes each session. We also talked about upcoming vacations...it's looking like I may have to go for three weeks without a session in June and I'm not looking forward to that. I'm going to see if we can arrange at least a phone conversation.

I was really perky today, in kind of a bouncy, playful mood, so my T and I spent quite a bit of time laughing and joking around during the session. I told her right off the bat that I didn't want to lose this perky mood, and so while we talked about some serious things, I think we were both trying to still keep things light enough for me to hold on to my mood.