((((All)))) I saw my T. My alters were there with me and I was able to help coach them (those parts of me) through session. T helped out tons of course.
One alter (Mick) laid down on the couch and almost curled up and just cried and cried holding a pillow. I was watching myself from above and was thinking "UGG! Get up! How many other tears are in that pillow!!!!"

But that alter trusted T and T told her it was safe to show me the most hidden and locked up part of the trauma. I was having flashbacks last night and had an idea of what I thought happened but it was locked away too deep. I was kinda surprised by the details because it helps me understand some of my issues about the hallway and doors. And I totally get why yesterday at work made me so terrified.

My T was very compassionate and right there with me emotionally. I am still in shock a bit because this was huge. It was actually the event that made "Mick" split from me.

I am exhausted now. very deeply exhausted. But T is right. You only have to fully process these things once. And that one held a whole TON of pain.