can it get better? being so badly depressed? i have lost someone so dear to me and she has no idea that its not helping me in anyway, the way i felt the last time i spoke with her are just making me feel 1000000000000000000000000......% worse and not helping me. i have tried and tried to get hold of her but i done get a responce and now to top it all off b/c i havent heard from her i think she has ended her life b/c of me but i dont know b/c she hasnt got back to me which it looks like its possible.

My depression just seems to be getting worse these days and nothing that normaly work are working for me anymore, yes i want to give up but i know it will hurt alot of people so im suffering instead, the pain, the hurt, the tears i have cryed and all the strength not to SI (i havent SI in about 2 months now but its been really hard not to do it but my fight isnt over yet i still want to SI but im not so for...fingers crossed) i just dont know what to do anymore............im lost now with no one...........i push them away and now look...i have no one