Quote:
Originally Posted by SadRobot
... I have done most of the work but none of the actual writing and I have other deadlines between, including an essay of 2000 words I've done nothing for..I know it can all be done but at the same time, every time people are shocked about how behind I am I freak out even more... And on top of that, I saw another lecturer to get feedback on a minor essay and she said that my problem is that I'm not working exactly as I'm expected to work at the level of undergrad, that I have too many ideas, and then instead of helping me contain them, she pointed out what I had left out of the essay, even though I have already reached the word count and had a mini break down in front of her. But then it's my fault for asking the feedback right? I mean, what else was she supposed to say? ...
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You've done most of the work, and just not written down? This brought immediately to mind someone that I know (who just finished her Master's btw...). She said she has
always worked them out in her head, not on the paper. Once she was ready, she put it on the paper. Is this standard? Is this typical? Is this the way it's "supposed" to be done? Who cares?! That's what worked for her. There are many ways to do things, not "one right way". (For me, it's art. A scribble at most, a few idea thoughts and it's off to the races. The piece talks to me as I go in ways that make it far better than if I'd done in a more structured "traditional" way. It would be stupid for me to ignore this. It's all about what works for you!)
When you say people are shocked when they find out where you are, how do they know? If they get the info from you.... well, don't tell them!
Or say something vague like, "it's coming along". They don't need details and it's none of their business. I've got a little saying for it... "why hand 'em the ammo?". Especially when you know how their reactions affect you.
On the lecturer who said, "...not working exactly as I'm expected to work ...", see above. Everyone is different and this is simply a narrow minded statement. In terms of the "too many ideas", then went on about additions?
There's no fault in asking for feedback. That's what they're there for and shows you care about the work. She can say anything she wants of course. But also needs to be brought back around to her original assertation (which I'd have to assume she considers relevant after all!). To do this you could use specific questions such as...Too many? Which would you suggest removing? Where do you see that it might benefit from some editing down? This way, you show you value their feedback (in theory anyway!
), and at the same time hold them accountable for giving feedback that is actually useful.
Most of all, be kind to yourself.
I struggle with catastrophizing and going whirly-o-blender with fear and self-doubt too. Believe me, I 'get' it! But that's why we're all here... for support and reminding each other to try to take a deep breath and get through this together. And share ways to help that we just not be thinking of in the stress of the moment.
Much
and luck! Keep us posted, ok, SadRobot?
